“I’ve had an idea about your bathroom Mum” said Master M during a recent phone call. “I know it gets you down as it is, so I’ve been thinking… how about a bit of a bathroom refresh? You’ve got enough going on with Belle at the moment. I could just give the walls a quick lick of paint, spruce it up a bit, what do you say?” Well of course I thought it a marvellous and kind offer and quickly agreed. “Oh darling, how lovely” I said “are you sure you don’t mind giving up your weekend?” “No no, not at all Mum” he replied “I’ll call the boys, see if they’re up for a catch-up and a bit of painting and maybe we could sink a few beers and have a take-out later. It’ll be a sick weekend” he carried on. I really should have known…
First things first though. I think you may be waiting for other news. Last time we met I happened to mention I had a secret to share, do you recall? I am brimming with excitement as I write this to you. Those who know me well, rightly advise others not to share secrets with me. I am shamefully hopeless at keeping them. Well no-one is more surprised than I, that I kept a lid on this one. Ready? Beautiful Belle is to appear in a glossy magazine. Oh my, did I really just type that?! Yes I did. Must be real now then. Very soon you will see and read about Belle in the pages of the gorgeous Period Living magazine. There is to be an article all about Belle and The Cottage Garden. Do you have any idea how many times I have read and re-read this? Every day since I have known, I have woken with the biggest smile and tummy flip you ever did see and feel. If I am supposed to act cool, I apologise now for I fear I am extremely uncool and fairly excitable at the prospect. The photo shoot is imminent (more to follow soon) and for now I can tell you no more, since I am unsure which issue she will be in. You can bet your life however, I will spill the beans as soon as I know. Right, back to this week then and how to follow that …
Disclaimer: if you are easily offended by avocado bathroom suite rants, look away now. We have two bathrooms in our 1990’s bungalow. Each had avocado suites when we moved in, both in desperate need of a bathroom refresh at the very least. And even though both our children are of an age to be able to see past the dated colour, they didn’t. And when we first showed them our new home some two and a half years back, Little Miss went into shock and Master M muttered “ewww, rank” as he caught sight of each bathroom. Neither one of them shared my vision and so being the caring parents we are, the suite in the children’s bathroom was quickly replaced with an inexpensive white one. A bathroom refresh for them; not so for us.
I cannot believe I am about to share with you my bathroom as it was. Needless to say, I have never shared this on my Instagram grid before. Posting these photos took a lot of courage. Pam @marthascountycottage I know you are reading this and you know how I love your bathroom. You will be shocked. This is what it looked like when we moved in…
And over the past couple of years, a few toiletries and towels here and there haven’t improved it much either…
I did manage to get Mr M to build a rustic frame around the ugly utilitarian mirror shortly after we moved in. I had a vision of how the room might look prior to renovation. Once I had painted the surround though, I quickly determined this room needed a lot more help than framing a rotten mirror could give it and I lost interest in my bathroom refresh.
Knowing there was no possible way Mr M would agree to a new bathroom suite, tiling and flooring now, I had to put on my thinking cap for ideas to spruce up our existing bathroom with no budget. And let me be clear, absolutely no budget whatsoever. Zilch. Nada. Not a penny. All spare cash was being lavished on Belle.
In my world when there is no budget, you go visit your stash of paint in the garage and get creative. Like Goldilocks I was faced with three choices in my paint tins. Too dark, too light or mix it up for just right. So mix it up I did and I was jolly happy for the offer of help from Master M and his crew. The room was prepped (allegedly) and the lads got painting. I left them to it since you will recall here, I had a great many pickets to paint myself at that stage.
L-R: Master M, Giles, Sean and stylish Cal 
I returned after a short while to discover my paint mix was infact way too dark. And with a hint of lavender, it was not entirely as I had envisioned. So, I called a halt to the painting and offered up another home mixed brew. A much lighter solution which was going to need several coats to cover the dark green of the offending wallpaper on one wall and the now violet colour on the remaining walls. The boys collectively appeared unable to wash any rollers or brushes they had previously used and began repainting with fresh ones. Mr M was not best pleased, however he chose to ignore bathroom proceedings since he had clearly told me way back when I informed him his son and friends were to paint the room “you can supervise this, I am far too busy with the cottage garden” followed swiftly by an incredulous “and why on earth do we need a bathroom refresh anyway, haven’t we got enough to do with the Shepherd’s Hut and the Cottage Garden?” He was not at all supportive when I explained the magazine crew would at some stage need to visit the toilet and they could not possibly be subjected to either bathroom in its current state.
The room began to take shape with the lighter colour.
I returned to Mr M and Belle and the Cottage Garden and there I stayed, occasionally popping my head around the bathroom door and requesting their ‘music’ be turned down a notch or two. That evening when Little Miss returned from work, she ventured into the bathroom to catch up with her brother and his friends just as Mr M and I returned after our silly busy day in the garden.
“Oh my goodness what is that awful smell!” I heard her shriek. I had smelt it too earlier and thought her comment a little harsh considering four strapping lads were sweating profusely about their work. “It’s paint” replied her brother sarcastically. “It is not paint” she retorted “it is the most awful smell I have ever smelt in my life, ewww it smells like off cat wee!” At this point I feared she had failed to grasp an understanding of eau de sweat and toil. I rushed to the defence of the boys only to catch my own breath before yelling “oh heavens, what is that awful smell?!” It most definitely was not boy odour. And it was not fresh paint either. Cue Mr M. “Oh dear” he sighed “I wonder if the paint was off.”
I cannot begin to describe the smell. Little Miss does cat wee a huge injustice. I don’t believe I will ever forget it. Nor do I think I will ever forget how my entire home smelled during the course of the next week. What on earth were we going to do now? No amount of essential oil diffusers or wonderfully scented candles were ever going to mask this odour. I feared I would never again recognise another fragrance other than that of off paint. And what on earth was I going to do about the magazine crew? Join me next week to find out if and how we worked it out and to pick up a few tricks and tips for a bathroom refresh with still, no budget x
If I had written the blog straight after this fiasco Karen, I doubt it would have been quite so funny! The boys clearly wanted to help as Mr M and I were elsewhere; my goodness though, this episode finished me off!! Thank you for reading lovely x
Both brilliant and hilarious!! Even though I shouldn’t laugh, (because I know I wouldn’t be if it was my bathroom) I couldn’t help myself! Hats off to the boys for their help, and huge congratulations on your best kept secret 💗Xx
Thank you so much Karen… I can smell the burning rubber now!! I am beyond excited about the photo shoot…(cannot even type that without giggling like a school girl) and as for the bathroom, did we sort it? All to be revealed this week x
Oh, Helen what a post! Firstly the Period Living bit. I was just looking at your IG post and realised I’d clearly missed something so I literally screeched over here – you can add the smell of burning rubber to your list. Anyway, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am for you! You work so hard and you deserve this. As for the bathroom tale, it was hilariously recounted as ever. Might be dining out on that one for a while… xxxx
Ha Ha my floaty kit is waiting in the wardrobe for its moment! And those boys? Little stars for giving it their best shot… that smell though, not good, not good at all!x
oh my goodness, how did I manage it? Never before have I kept anything so quiet!! I cannot wait to see how a professional photographer will show her, exciting times ahead! Thank you for reading and leaving a comment x
The magazine is indeed an exciting prospect… and as for the bathroom my darling, all good intentions and as you said yourself, it does make a funny story! Thank you for helping and leaving me a lovely comment darling x
Well it’s been far too long since your last blog…. you are not allowed any more breaks!…..and now the amazing news that Period Living are going to feature the beautiful Belle and the cottage garden! So delighted for you! They will probably want you in a photo too…so make sure you wear your floaty summer skirt and floppy hat and carry a basket of cut flowers!
And as for Harris and his mates……. well I’m sure they came up trumps in the end! Xxx
Wow Wow Wow!! How on earth have you managed to keep that a secret?!! I am so excited for you! Ii cannot wait to buy my copy, iBelle is going to be famous!! You so deserve to show her and the cottage garden off and in Period Magazine too – what could be better?!! Love the bathroom story! Bless them all for trying!! Looking forward to next weeks instalment and seeing the transformation! Fabulous funny blog as always – you have such a gift xxxx
How Exciting about the magazine! maybe the painting didn’t go quite as planned and may not have been quite as simple as when I first opened my mouth!! All good fun tho and does make a funny story….
They do look quite sweet, even though Master M’s sister was quite convinced the odour was seeping out of them! I am beyond excited Mary Katherine to have beautiful Belle featured in such a magazine… cannot wait to see the photos a professional will take. Thank you for your lovely comment today x
Thank you Amanda, I’m so excited now that I realise the email wasn’t a prank as I first thought. Yes off paint has an odour like no other, I’m hopeful your experienced guys would not make a mistake like that; I did think it pretty funny that Little Miss was quite convinced her brother and his chums were the culprits though!x
PERIOD LIVING?!?!?!? Wow! So happy for you! I had no idea paint could go “off”. It always smells awful to me, but your description is hilarious! The lads look adorable, and how sweet that your son was willing to round them up and do this! I know there will be a fine resolution in the end, and will wait for the next installment with baited breath. Thanks for the morning chuckle for a fan Across the Pond.
That’s really exciting to be featured in Period Living – congratulations. I had no idea that paint could smell off, obviously had a protected life. x
Thank you Helen, it is exciting and I can’t wait to see how professional photographers will make Belle look. Aah a fellow ‘off paint sufferer!’ Find out next week what measures we were forced to take… the boys are still in one piece though!x
How exciting! That’s a magazine I’ll be buying for sure. We’ve had a similar experience with paint recently too. It was like stagnant water. Obviously a water based paint that had gone off. I was painting a piece of furniture. Thankfully the smell wore off after a couple of days. Xx
Ha Ha Little Miss… how funny it was (looking back of course) and I’m really looking forward to showing my lovely readers that my bathroom does not infact look like that anymore… not at all inspirational! I too am glad there’s no secret anymore… secrets are very difficult to keep when you are as excitable as me you know! Thanks for your lovely comments darling x
Hahaha!!
Firstly thank GOODNESS the cat is out of the bag – I’m so shocked you kept it quiet for so long and that even those in the Highlands didn’t hear you screaming when you found out! So so so proud of you and can’t wait to see!
The bathroom…wow. Love all those boys so so dearly but how they couldn’t smell that as it was drying I will never know. Thank god smell-o-vision doesn’t yet exist that’s all I can say!
You don’t half love a challenge do you! Each of them with a very funny tale attached – love it as always but DEFINITELY prefer reading it to living it!!! xxxxxxxxx
How lovely to see a comment from you Christine, Mr M and I were discussing when you would read the blog this morning! I am so excited… I cannot imagine how beautiful a professional photographer will make Belle look! And as for the bathroom makeover… what a fiasco, I’m surprised you couldn’t smell it from your house! I am a dreadful tease I know… next week I will reveal all… see you very soon, now you know!
Oh wow Hels I’m so proud of you that you have been given an opportunity for beautiful Belle and your gorgeous cottage garden to appear in Period Living magazine. That is absolutely amazing and I am not surprised you’re bursting with so much excitement. I would be too. Well done you and I’m so pleased for Belle, because of all your hard work and dedication towards her transformation, the world is going to see your beautiful shepherds hut in a magazine. That is so fantastic Helen!
Now your bathroom make over was so gripping that it made me smile throughout reading it! I am however disappointed that I have to wait until next week to find out what happened next!! Ha, ha, ha!!
Looking forward to next week’s installment in anticipation!! xxx
Thank you so much for leaving a comment Sarah; I was convinced someone was playing a prank when I received the email, not so it would seem. And as for the bathroom, all good intentions and that… find out next week if we managed to sort it!x
Eeeek…. how exciting for you! Had a sneaking suspicion this might be happening as Belle is completely worthy of a few pages in a beautiful magazine. You must be pinching yourself with excitement!!!!
And well done to the chaps for the bathroom makeover… despite the awful smell!😂😳😘